As I was doing my first webinar the other day, one of the attendees mentioned the importance of not judging our less desirable emotions. This really got me thinking, what makes emotions less desirable anyway? I mean, I get it. I know that it isn't as fun to experience sadness, fear, disappointment, anger, resentment, and the like... and, this really got me curious. Why do we experience emotions that don't feel as good as joy, happiness, love, empowerment, and all the things we were meant to experience in life. After all, our lives are supposed to be about happiness. We were meant to enjoy our time on earth with one another! So why is it a struggle at times? Do we avoid our less desirable emotions?
The best answer I could come up with is control and judgment. Here is what I think. I think that the reason we experience emotions that aren't as pleasant as love and happiness is because of our obsession with control. Think about it, when do we feel sad? When things don't go our way? When people don't treat us the way we think they should? When a loved one gets hurt? The list could go on.. and my thought about this is that the true trigger for our sadness (or anything else we don't desire) is that things aren't going the way we want, or plan, or wish they would. We forget that things are going exactly as they should and it is our job to learn the lesson and to see that whatever has happened is not happening to us, rather it is happening for us.
To add to this, I think we can tend to get stuck in an unpleasant emotion once we start judging that emotion as good or bad. None of our emotions are good or bad, they are only indicators into how we think, what we believe, and how our experience in life manifests itself. So, when we find ourselves in an undesirable emotion, instead of judging it I have found it's important to get curious about it. Why am I feeling this way? Truly, we do not have to feel particular feelings to events in our lives. Our emotions give us some insight into how we think and what we believe. In order to change our experience in life, we must be willing to think about the way we think. Most of the time, when I have unpleasant feelings, I find it is because I am struggling to accept what is. My own suffering comes from wishing things were different and being unaware of the gifts the current situation is bringing to me.
So, do you find yourself avoiding unpleasant emotions? Do you find yourself making decisions to avoid possibly feeling unpleasant emotions? Think about it! If you do, the secret to being fully present to the moment is to welcome all emotions. When you experience emotions you can ask yourself:
- What am I feeling? Why?
- What can I appreciate about this moment?
- What am I not accepting?
- What can I learn from this experience?
- What is really important to me?
For me, I have found the secret to living a truly fulfilling and happy life is to get curious about what I am feeling and dig deep into my thoughts and beliefs around it. This is one of my secrets to living a fearless and fun life. Life is truly beautiful, all of it. You only have to be present to experience the joy of life. You can choose to live life in your head, or you can choose to experience life in the present moment. As long as your experience comes from choice, your true power will shine through.
Abundance of love sent to you all,